


captain's orders

by groupieforbucky



Series: captain's orders [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Blood and Gore, Drugging, Eating, F/M, Food, Kidnapping, Loss of Virginity, POV Third Person, Rough Sex, Slow Burn, Swearing, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Sex, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:00:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29845329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/groupieforbucky/pseuds/groupieforbucky
Summary: the princess comes up with the prank of the century, and her sweet maid is too loyal to refuse... not that she really wants to
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Series: captain's orders [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194182
Kudos: 22





	1. a trick

another night had fallen over the castle. the sweet chirping of summer birds fading into that of crickets and cicadas; less melodic, but they did a fine job of humming the land’s residents to sleep. it would be completely dark within the halls once she was finally able to retire to the quarters she shared with most other maids. a shy bow of her head to the guard stationed outside her highness’ room before wood creaking filled the marbled entryway. just as it were every summer evening, she unlocked and opened the doors to each balcony, securing them in place so as to not wake anyone should the wind pick up. it seemed to be doing that much more lately, the growing presence of autumn looming over town.

“finish with that later, please,” a familiar voice called from the washroom, slightly annoyed lilt to it. “i’m desperate to have this all over with, and take my rest.” it would appear that the princess _was_ in a bit of a rush tonight. the bath had already been filled, and she was sat in its warmth, waiting to have her hair rinsed and body scrubbed.

“my apologies, your highness, cleaning up the kitchen took longer than normal.”

“now, now,” the royal cooed, sending her oldest friend a look. “no need to be so formal. it’s night, we’re alone.”

“of course, my mistake. force of habit.” rolling up her sleeves, the younger got to her knees behind the tub, hands already going to work filling the intricate porcelain pitcher with fresh water. “what has you so eager to retire tonight? i thought today was rather peaceful. overlooking the accident in the stables.” the pair shared a laugh, flashes of the newborn horse crashing through the stable doors and fleeing out into the streets of town playing in their minds.

“yes, that was quite an event.” a satisfied hum escaped the older’s chest as water began to cascade down her scalp. “i suppose there’s not much to really complain about. nothing more than usual, anyway. the same old story just grows a bit uninteresting.”

“i must concur.” silence fell over them for a beat, the sloshing and dripping of water echoing off carved stone. then a hesitant cough, “not to say i don’t enjoy my duties here, of course, just… well… same old story, as you said.”

“no, no, you’re right. i wasn’t thinking. you must see my life completely the opposite of my own eyes, and that’s fair. i’m aware of how fortunate i am, you know this.”

“yes, i do.” skin itching with discomfort, the timid maid maneuvered around to the tub’s side, cloth in hand. “what do you say tomorrow we take lunch at the lake? it’s been quite some time since we spent the afternoon away.” a peaceful look came over her highness’ face, features softening out into a gentle smile. from the suggestion, or the plush material of the towel running over her skin, the maid couldn’t tell.

“that does sound lovely. and i’ve missed you… our talks…” the younger felt a heat behind her face, hand shaking a little as it dipped back into the now sudsy water. “i’ve got another suggestion for tomorrow, if you’ll hear it.”

“i’ll always hear your thoughts,” her maid whispered, teeth sinking into her bottom lip nervously.

“you’re aware what next week is, i’m sure.”

a quick nod, thankful that her face was turned away from the princess as a worried look overcame it. “first of the final quarter.”

“that’s right. always so exciting, isn’t it? castle flooded with new faces, everyone in disarray at their new posts, father losing his temper…” they shared a laugh. it was customary in the kingdom that royal staff be rotated out quarterly during the year to protect the family, and offer opportunities to work in the castle to as many citizens as possible. or so the king boasted. there were a few occasions where it had been suggested that the rotation opened the castle up to even _more_ danger, but it had yet to see any real trouble. only a lucky and trusted few were allowed to remain throughout the years; wilma who ran the kitchen, sir bennett who headed the king’s army, and her highness’ childhood friend and most beloved maid.

“what on earth are you plotting?” said maid asked through a smile.

“well… what if we… had a bit of fun?” finally facing one another again, the younger waved her now prune-like hand in a motion so as to say, ‘ _on with it.’_ when only a devious smirk formed on her friend’s face, a quirked brow graced hers. but before she could press further, the princess spoke again, “let’s switch places. roles, positions, however you’d like to put it.”

“have you actually lost all your sense this time, mary-jane?” and, oh, how it was serious if full names were being thrown around. so with a shrug of her shoulder to her maid, who was sat back on her heels with a look of angered confusion on her sweet face, princess mary-jane spoke _her_ full name with just as much sincerity.

“i’m quite in my right mind, thank you.” huffing, her friend stood and began wiping her hands off on her skirts, head shaking dramatically. “oh, come on, you bore. i know you’ve thought about it before. and what better opportunity? wilma doesn’t much care to know what goes on beyond that kitchen, and with father and sir bennett away on… _business_ … no one will know.”

it was true. even if wilma did find out, she was certain all they would get is an eye roll and some muttered words behind a smirk. and the king was set to depart shortly before the start of the final quarter to negotiate a possible marriage arrangement with a neighboring kingdom. every person in the castle would be a new face, an ignorant face. beyond the gossip of former staff, no one in the kingdom knew much of the princess. her father was very adamant about keeping her out of the public eye before she knew how to carry herself more like her royal title called for.

“you’re insane, i’m sure of it,” she finally responded, holding open a fluffy white towel for her highness to step into. “and what is to happen when his majesty returns? hm? how will it be explained? to him, to the new staff? i live quite comfortably, all things considered, and i’m not willing to risk that.”

“oh, but you’re thinking about it,” the princess chirped, nuzzling her face against the soft cotton around her shoulders. “you know i would never put you in danger.” she joined their hands, rubbing soothingly at her friend’s slightly rougher skin. “think of it; the finest foods, silk garments, rare jewelry and gifts…”

“and for _you_? what could you possibly gain from such a theatric?”

“hmm, how to clean… how to truly appreciate my title. you know how i’ve always wanted to learn useful skills like you. how important mother thought it was for a young lady.”

she just had to go and play the mother card, didn’t she?

“oh, mj, listen to yourself for a moment, would you?” she left the royal there as she shuffled into the bedroom, quickly digging out night garments. her mind was spinning with images of her own body draped in fine, imported silk. a thick, plush pillow beneath her head, belly full of sweet breads and slightly tangy fruits. she jumped at the feeling of hands on her shoulders, her name falling from the older’s lips once more.

“it’s just a bit of fun. come on, please? for me?”

with a sigh so deep it took nearly all the air from her lungs, the maid relented.

~

with just one short week to prepare for ‘ _the royal duping_ ’ as it was being called, the young maid found herself being lead and summoned to places of the castle she’d only ever imagined in her mind. the most extravagant of them, so far, was the seamstress quarters. spools upon spools of the finest fabrics and threads she’d ever seen. it was a task in and of itself to keep her head forward as the seamstress measured every angle, curve, dip, and twist of her body. all the while, princess mj fluttered around, bringing over different clippings to hold against her maid’s complexion. the excuse was that her highness had requested a ‘ _change in staff attire_ ’ to celebrate not only the arrival of the new _staff_ , but the possibility of a new _queen_ taking the throne should her father return satisfied with his negotiations.

“i, of course, need my closest maid to look her absolute best,” she’d gushed, head held high with a knowing smirk on her painted lips. the old seamstress was instructed to take measurements and supply an array of as many garments as she could produce within the final few days of her employment. everything from ballgowns to sleepwear. “all are to be up to _my_ standards. forget she is simply a maid. sew, stitch, and embroider as if each piece was to be worn by a royal.”

after a full day of work, assistance was requested in order to finish everything in time. it made the younger feel like an enormous burden. and for what? her highness to have some fun playing another one of her childish games? this wasn’t a game, though. this was a trick… _treason_. that thought alone kept the maid awake at night. tired limbs carried her around the property to the grand ballroom, the stables, dining hall, library… even the archery field and, most scandalous of all, his majesty’s study that was only to be used for important decision making.

each day was filled with lessons on everything from how to walk and sit to what she should consider if an emergency arose. this was supposed to be fun, a week’s vacation by all means, but the thought of something dire occurring had her stomach in knots. what if tragedy did strike? certainly the fantasy would have to crumble, and the real princess would make herself known.

right?

~

on the friday before the final quarter began, the king made his departure. with his mind already elsewhere, and all involved staff sworn to secrecy, he was none the wiser to his daughter’s fast approaching hijinks. so began the last preparations. all the garments had been delivered to her highness’ quarters as instructed, the last few set to arrive before the following evening. it had been uncommonly hot and humid that day, causing a bead of sweat to trail down the back of the maid’s neck. who knew trying on so many dresses could be so exerting?

it was strange to see herself in such garb. a far cry from her usual linen and cotton, occasional wool in the winter. it was _nice_. everything clung to her like a second skin, revealing angles to her body she never even knew to be there. even the gowns that were pulled so tight she could hardly breathe made her heart skip. although, she thought maybe that had something to do with her constricted airway.

and so this was it, she thought, as dawn broke the next morning. her final day as a servant for the foreseeable future. there was plenty to do with the farewell dinner and subsequent ball for the parting staff, but her mind strayed most of the day. bitten smiles and stunted laughs of bewilderment dotted throughout her routine at the realization that come this time tomorrow, it would be _her_ sitting upon the rich, burgundy velvet of the throne. she was insane, as was the princess, for carrying on with this.

“you’ll join me in my quarters tonight,” her highness spoke, a little winded from just finishing a dance with some boy from the stables. her maid looked up to her slightly confused, placing her half-empty glass of wine back on the table between them. “well, it wouldn’t make much sense for the new staff to arrive and find the princess curled up among the old servants, now would it?”

she supposed that _would_ be a bit suspicious. but wasn’t this entire plan? “right,” she sighed. “i’ll need someone to help me into that gown in the morning anyway…”

“don’t act as though we both didn’t see the way your eyes sparkled at the sight of yourself in it.” mary-jane gave her friend a knowing smile over the lip of her chalice. they both knew she was right. the lavender silk and lace fell over the maid’s form ethereally, and her skin itched to be back in it. not long now.

~

by the time golden rays began to dance through the windows and down the halls of the castle, the maid had been awake for some time now. she saw the fresh faces file into the grand entrance below her highness’ window. it brought a bittersweet smile to her face. usually she was down there with the rest of the staff, greeting and training the new flock. instead, she was perched on a plush lounge chair, the gentle snores of her only friend filling the silence that came once the bugs had retired, but the birds weren’t quite out yet. sunrise over the kingdom had always been a thing to behold, especially during the final quarter.

shielding her eyes from the fresh sunlight, she gazed down at the former staff as they made their way out of the castle and down the winding hill. back to their families with stories to tell that many could only conjure in dreams. without looking away, she began to take notice of the movement behind her until two warm hands were upon her shoulders.

“are you ready, dear?”

taking in a shaky breath, she stood, locking eyes with the princess. “as i’ll ever be.”

~

it was chaos those first few hours. usually the king was there to keep order as each new servant learned their role, but it was left entirely to the new heads of staff. and, of course, her highness. seeing as her highness was now a mere meek maid, things weren’t going quite to plan. she’d been overlooked at the least, and nearly had an entire breakfast tray dumped on her at the most. and to top everything off, the new knight assigned to act as her security was nowhere to be found. the king would be fuming once he found out.

but there was nothing to really protect, was there?

despite all the troubles and the mishaps, the dummy princess found herself smiling as she carefully lowered herself into the bath. her skin felt hot under the eyes of the kingdom’s actual pride and joy, but it didn’t matter. her first day as mock royalty had passed. safely. easily. _enjoyably_.

“right, i take it you’re having fun, then?” her highness smirked, reaching for the fresh pitcher of water.

“you don’t have to do this, your highness. i’m more than capable of bathing myself. i’ll insist that you also have your bath up here.”

“nonsense,” the older scoffed, continuing on with her new duty. “there’s a perfectly fine washroom in the servant quarters. i’ll take my bath just as you have these past two decades.”

she was right. the washroom in the servant quarters might not be made of fine, carved stone, but it did the job adequately. the staff was very fortunate to work for the family they did.

“i _am_ having fun,” she spoke quietly, sighing contently as warm, fragrant water trickled down her neck. “did today go as well as i’m imagining?” there was worry in her tone, a timid bite to her lip. perhaps it was all in her head, and already she was causing irreparable damage to the kingdom.

“i’d say it went as well as one could expect. given _his majesty_ is two days’ travel away.”

“is there any word from him? has he arrived safely?”

“i should be asking you!” the princess laughed, beginning to lather up a washcloth. “ _your highness_ will be informed of his whereabouts before the staff.”

“please don’t call me that when we’re alone. it already makes my skin blister hearing it from everyone else.” a nervous look to her friend knelt besides the bath, and then they were both erupting in giggles. the younger flicked at the top of the water, sending little droplets onto the other’s face. a small ruckus outside halted their play, both stilling to listen for further commotion, but none came. “what of the missing knight? what do you suppose i should do?”

mary-jane shrugged, dunking the cloth beneath the water once more before running it up her friend’s chest. the younger diverted her gaze, small shiver traveling through her body from the point of contact. “probably be a small meeting come morning… decide on a replacement to be called in. nothing for you to worry about, though. us _ladies_ haven’t much say in the matter.”

that calmed a bit of the maid’s nerves. if she was truly lucky, they’ll have made the selection before she’d even begun her day, and the new knight would be stationed and waiting in the dining hall. the thought of breakfast had her heart fluttering. it was so magnificent that morning. everything so fresh and warm, fruit still juicy and vibrant. she’d nearly made herself sick from the amount of sweet bread she’d put away, finally allowing the new servers to take the trays away with one last longing look to the loaves. she wondered what spread there would be tomorrow, mind racing with the possibilities as her highness continued to gently scrub over her skin.

“your highness,” the call escaped her, visions of beautiful red apples flitting through her mind. a heavy knock at the door to her chambers. nothing. another call, then the older’s laugh.

“think that’s for you, _princess_.”

“w-what?” she stuttered, snapping back to reality to find a robe being held out before her. the knock and call of her temporary title sounded again, startling her to her feet. “just a moment, please!” she called, nearly falling flat onto the marble floors in an attempt to reach the fluffy garment. care for her appearance was thrown out the window, both girls rushing out of the washroom and through the living area to the big, wooden doors. “wait,” she swallowed, grasping onto her friend’s hand. “what do i do? say?”

a bright laugh, reassuring squeeze of her own hand. “ask who it is, and what they want.”

right. of course. “um, may i ask who is out there?” her highness motioned for her to continue. “oh, and what i can do for you at this hour?” that earned her a nod of approval before the older began to make her way around the room, preparing it just as the younger would each night.

“absolutely, your highness. my apologies for bothering you this late… it’s sir anthony… the new guard for the front gate.” yes, she recognized the voice from their introduction this morning. “i’ve a bit of a… situation out here.”

“a situation?” she gasped, quickly looking over to mary-jane who started flailing her arms as a way to say, ‘ _open the door, you fool!_ ’

the sight before her had her mouth falling open around a pathetic squeak. it was sir anthony, still dressed in his protective garb, hand on the handle of his sword that swung from his hip. but just beside him stood an unfamiliar man, his head hung low in shame. suddenly, the maid was overly aware of her state, and clutched at the soft robe around her, hugging herself around the middle.

“your highness, this is sir james. the knight who was to begin as your security this morning.”


	2. a companion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the maid turned princess gets acquainted with her new knight until panic erupts in the castle

gaping like a fish, the maid found herself frozen and speechless before the two men. eternity could have passed until the sharp sound of a sheet being snapped against the air caught their attention, mary-jane sending a look to her friend.

“i, um… well, then, sir james,” she began, swallowing harshly as their eyes caught for the briefest of seconds. “what do you have to say for yourself?” for a moment, she worried that wasn’t the right thing to say, and then sir anthony looked at the man next to him expectantly, quirking his brow.

“go on, explain yourself,” he barked, nudging the brunet forward until he was over the threshold of the princess’ chamber, forcing the maid to step back so they wouldn’t collide. slowly, he raised his head, allowing the warm glow of the lanterns around the room to glisten off of several wounds on his face.

“oh, dear,” she breathed, eyebrows furrowing in worry and regret. she’d practically yelled at the poor man.

“your highness,” he croaked, voice barely above a whisper as he kept eye contact with her, attempting to straighten his posture. a harsh wince fell from his beautifully pouted lips. “i do not deserve your time, but if you’ll allow it, i’d like to try and offer an explanation.” with a jerky nod of her head, he sighed, seeming to muster his strength. “i was attacked not far from my home before i could begin my journey here this morning.”

the confession forced another gasp from her. the kingdom was supposed to be safer than ever. was there reason to worry? this poor man…

“i’m… sir james, i’m terribly sorry.” he shook his head at her words, looking as if he was about to speak again, but she stopped him. “are you in pain? that was silly, of course you are… did you know your attackers? get a good look at them? surely we can find them, and…”

“your highness,” he stopped her rambling, forcing her to look back up at him. there was a pleasant smile on his face, and a look of confusion on sir anthony’s just beyond his shoulder. her stomach dropped. “i assure you, i’ll be quite all right. i wasn’t brought here to worry you. i’ve come to see if the job is still mine. i’ll understand completely if you find me unfit.”

letting her eyes trail over his form, she thought to herself that _unfit_ wasn’t at all the word she’d use. he was stunning. tall and chiseled, buttons of his ruffled blouse straining against the muscle of his chest. strong hands that reflected years of labor. a few stains of blood dotted the white fabric of his shirt, leading her eyes back to his face. a kind but intense gaze, eyes as clear as the sky after that horrid rain storm they had three springs ago. there was more blood caked into the stubble that lined his jaw, some along his hairline, too. the longer chestnut locks acting as a frame to his picturesque face.

a throat clearing behind her startled her, face hot to the touch at the realization that she’d been ogling him.

“the job is yours, sir james. i can’t imagine turning you away for something outside of your control. however, i’d like for you to rest before fully beginning your duties.” silence fell over the four of them, her heartbeat audible within her chest. “um… s-sir anthony?”

“yes, your highness?”

“see to it that sir james is taken to the infirmary, please.”

“yes, your highness.” satisfied with herself, she smiled shyly at the man before her, resisting the urge to push back the stray tresses that fell into his face. “and for punishment?”

that caught her off guard. _a punishment?_ _for what?_ in her eyes, he’d done nothing wrong, so why was there to be any repercussion? racking her brain for a moment, she finally felt her lips begin moving. “no sweet bread tomorrow.” more silence.

“no… sweet bread?” sir anthony lifted a brow, clearly trying to fight the grin that was threatening to break across his face.

“yes, no sweet bread shall be served to sir james until i give the word.” she felt as if her heart was about to pound its way out of her ribcage, through her skin, and right onto the floor at the knight’s feet. he was still staring her down, that same charming smile upon his lips. and if she hadn’t blinked, she would have seen the quick glance he took at the bead of water that was trailing its way down her neck.

when sir anthony acquiesced in her decision, he wrapped a thick hand around the brunet’s elbow. “as you wish, your highness. enjoy your rest. i’ll make arrangements for someone to fill sir james’ place in the coming days.” and then the pair were gone, heavy footfalls echoing in the grand hallway before eventually fading out. finally able to breathe, the maid took in a lungful of air, the scent of the two men still lingering within it.

“i’d say that went very well, _your highness_.” try as she might, the princess couldn’t keep her laughter from breaking through her words, hands clutching the side table that she had been placing a cup of water onto. composing herself, the younger turned with a hand splayed across her chest, gaze heated with embarrassment.

“what on earth would _you_ have done? _a punishment?_ the poor man was brutalized!” she cried, storming her way over to the fresh water, nearly choking as she tried to swallow it all.

with a smirk, mary-jane pulled back the thick covers of the bed, patting the mattress dramatically. “he certainly was,” she nodded. “he was also the handsomest knight this castle has ever seen. but i’m sure that fact did not sway your godly ruling.” before the maid could find her voice to protest, the older spoke again, “that fact is also not at all filling me with boiling jealousy that he is to take the title of ‘guardian to her royal highness’ when ‘her royal highness’ is no longer _me_.”

“grant me some faith, princess…” as she settled into the heavenly bedding, she tried desperately to ignore the look on her friend’s face. it was pointless, she knew, but just for a moment, she’d hoped the topic wouldn’t be brought up.

“well, if there were ever a time… ever a worthy partner…”

“don’t,” the younger bit tiredly, pulling the duvet up to her chin, rubbing her skin against it comfortingly. “might we remember, your highness, i’m not you. in rank nor… _sociability_.”

“oh, please.” picking at a stray thread, the maid kept her eyes downcast, only sensing the movement of the princess sitting down just beside her. “you’ll be taking advantage of every other privilege granted to me, why not this one as well?”

“forgetting the simple fact that he is to be my _guardian_ for the foreseeable future, i’d also hesitate to say he is not closer in age to his majesty than you. let alone _me_.” the night was growing long, conversation even longer, and the faux royalty wanted nothing more than to sink down into the cool pillows beneath her and drift off to sleep. should her dreams be plagued with images of a certain brunet knight, well, better them than her reality.

“as if that matters,” the older finally chuckled. “you’ll soon realize what a bother the guardians are, my dear. always barking orders… ‘be here, do this, don’t touch that…’ much more pleasant when they’re breathing down your neck in _other_ ways.” when nothing but silence came from the bundled duvet that now sat snuggly over the maid’s head, her highness gave a final laugh before beginning to blow out each lantern around the room.

“your highness…”

“i know, i know,” mary-jane smiled fondly. “leave one lit for you.”

~

the following days passed rather uneventfully. compared to that first one, anyway. there were bountiful breakfasts before mornings of lounging in the library, or enjoying the last few days of decently warm weather around the gardens. afternoons were a bit of a lull with lunch significantly less extravagant than other meals. sometimes, if they could line up their schedules, the two girls snuck off with a couple of horses, disappearing into the surrounding forest until they came upon the familiar stream that ran through it. the knight who had been sent in for a recovering sir james was none the wiser, much too busy fawning after a new gardener.

it wasn’t until the morning of her fourth day as mock princess that she saw the tall man again. he was posted just outside the dining hall, casual armor clinging to his form perfectly, same endearing smile on his lips.

“your highness,” he greeted with a slight bow.

“sir james, how are you feeling?”

“much better. thank you, your highness.”

as she followed his extended arm into the lavish room, she offered him a coy smile. she felt her skin heat up when he pulled out her chair for her, pushing it back in with ease. that makeshift guard never so much as greeted her each morning. this was a pleasant change of pace.

they sat in silence as she ate, the maid suddenly very aware of each noise she made, the volume of her chewing, the clink of her silverware. sir james didn’t seem to take notice of anything as he stood stiffly just off to the side of the dark wooden table. from behind him, she could see the cloudy sky through the grand windows. no trip to the forest today, then. sighing, she placed her main dish to the side, a burst of joy flowing through her veins at the sight before her.

“sir james?” she called, the knight stepping forward with a lift of his brows. “have you gotten to have our sweet bread yet?” he followed her eyes down to the perfectly browned loaf between them, a mouthwatering aroma coming from it in a thick steam.

“no, your highness, i regret to say i have not.”

“well, then…” she gestured a hand, urging the man to take a slice from the board it sat on. for a moment, he hesitated, throat bobbing around a worried gulp before he finally reached out and plucked from the lot. “you’ll have to tell me if now you see why i thought your ‘punishment’ to be fitting.”

the older chuckled shortly, mouth soon filled with the warm, fragrant bread that was so beloved within the castle. the crust was just crispy enough to add some texture to the mix on his tongue, a lingering, earthy sweetness chasing its way down his throat. honey, maybe? when his eyes opened, he realized he’d even shut them as they met her expectant ones, her hands folded beneath her chin. “yes, quite fitting, i would say.”

“good. i trust that the castle grounds will be a bit safer than town, so there’s no need to worry about another punishment.” her voice lowered as she turned back to her meal breathing out, “as unreasonable as they may be…” james laughed quietly at her before returning to his post beneath the windows. “i’ll be spending most of the day in the drawing rooms, given the weather, so you’re free to occupy your time however you please.”

“i can assure you, your highness, nothing would please me more than to keep guard at your side. it is my privileged duty.” his voice was firm, determined, and when she glanced to him, she saw his expression was just as much.

“v-very well then…”

~

just as he said, sir james spent every moment the maid was without her quarters by her side. they spoke easily as they wandered the halls, younger taking comfort in his company now that her highness had begun to spend most of her day with the servants. whether she was truly busy or just trying to get the mock princess and her knight alone has yet to be found out. though, the maid never recalled finding herself quite as busy as the older seemed to be suddenly.

it was… nice. spending time with the knight, showing him her favorite spots on the grounds. he listened intently as she waxed lyrical about each herb, flower, and fruit they grew in the garden, impressed with her knowledge of it all. nothing made his eyes glimmer the way the hidden corridors did, however. with boyish wonder, he followed her through a few different ones each day, keeping close with his torch. by accident, and to her horror, she’d even led him through the tunnel that linked the old storage barn to the washroom within her highness’ chambers. with shaky hands and a heat beneath her skin, she quickly turned them around, and ignored his amused chuckling.

princess mj had teased her about it for days after.

but despite knowing a quick and discreet way to where she slept each night, not once had her rest been interrupted. at first, she was relieved. this must have meant james was a true gentleman, no? he’d limited their flirting to daylight, and respected her enough to keep it that way. but then, suddenly, james started to take advantage of days where she was confined within the castle. once eager to remain on guard beside her, now he wandered off for hours without prompt.

“i… i don’t know, your highness, i think i’ve read everything all wrong,” the maid sighed into the pillow beneath her head, fighting to hold back tears of frustration. “i know reasonably i shouldn’t be as upset as i am… he’s a nobleman, and i’m… well… but i suppose i just… he was _kind_ …”

“oh, please, enough of the wallowing!” the younger lifted her head to stare at her friend in shock. “don’t look at me like that, you know i won’t apologize. you’re being ridiculous. so he’s a little busier these days, so what? have i not become overworked as well? the change of season is causing all sorts of problems, and with father away… we’re all in an uproar.”

silence fell between them, thick and deafening. it was obvious what the problem was. “your highness, i… i’d be more than happy to resume our roles…” when no response came, the maid knew what her highness’ answer was. letting out a sigh that held so much emotion, she continued, “tomorrow. tomorrow we end this. come clean to everyone… you’re clearly unhappy, and i admit that i’d be more comfortable back with the other maids. this is all… too much. for us both.”

rising to her feet, the princess folded a stray cloth over her arms, and started for the grand doors. “well then,” she began, voice even. “i’ll leave you to enjoy your last night as royalty.”

the words didn’t cut as deeply as perhaps mary-jane meant them to. it was simply fact. and despite this being her idea, the maid had gone along with it. she was to blame for this mess just as much as the older. the guilt swam through her veins most of the night, making her skin itchy with it. within that guilt was the slightest bit of sorrow, too. it was nice to be carefree for a time. to worry about nothing but how much a handsome man liked her. and _james_ … what he would probably think of her. nothing but a selfish maid that wanted a taste of extravagance, and forced the princess off her throne for it.

the dam finally broke, releasing an embarrassing flood of tears that stained the satin beneath her head. her fists clutched at the duvet desperately, wishing for nothing but to just disappear. she wept for so long that she didn’t even realize she’d fallen asleep until a loud thud awoke her. trying to get her bearings, she blinked a few times, focusing in her senses. there was another startling bang from the lower floors, but more than that, she could hear distant screams in the courtyard. heart soaring out of her chest, she threw back the covers. her first priority was to find the princess. how she would get to her didn’t matter, just that she did.

before she could even make her way to the one lit candle across the room, the doors to the chamber flew open, a frantic james barreling into the sleeping quarters. “sir james, what is happening?” the sound of her own voice startled her, raw from crying herself to sleep and garbled with fear. the knight was silent as he barricaded the door with pokers from the fire, heated blue eyes locking in on her as he approached. “sir-”

“there is no time,” he snapped, grabbing onto her elbow through the silk of her shift. “you have to come with me, i need to get you to safety.” before the words could process, she was being dragged across the floor, bare feet fumbling to keep up with the man. just as words began to form on her tongue, a terrifying pounding filled the room, the iron rod straining to stay in place between the handles of the chamber doors. sir james cursed under his breath as he threw open the hidden door to the tunnel that ran out from the washroom. in the blink of an eye, she was tossed into darkness, nothing keeping her grounded but the firm hold he had on her arm.

like coming up for air after nearly drowning, the realization of what was happening hit her full force in the chest, causing her to stumble in his grasp. _the princess_. she was all alone, unguarded, in the maid’s quarters. vulnerable to attack while every knight on the grounds tried desperately to save a false royal. “w-wait, wait! no, you must- you’re mistaken, i’m-”

the plea died in her throat as a cloth covered her face, a strong odor filling her lungs. for a moment, she fought, ripping at the arms around her. then her limbs grew heavy, and she slumped back into the form behind her. in the final few moments of her consciousness, she felt lips press to her temple, a gentle voice in her ear cooing, “you must forgive me, princess.”


	3. a room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the maid wakes in an unfamiliar place with a familiar face

it started with a weight against her chest. nothing tangible, just a pressure that slowly pulled her from sleep. after a moment, voices started to filter into her foggy mind, unintelligible and distant. as the feeling returned to her fingertips, she tried to lift a hand to her throbbing head, but found her wrists bound. panicking, she attempted to open her eyes, met with nothing but darkness. her instincts told her to scream, but her throat was too sore. all she could do was sit and listen to the voices while they steadily grew in volume.

“you’re in deep shit as is, rookie, so if i find you lurkin’ around down here again, you’re goin’ over! think your pea brain can handle that?! much easier than your last task…” the voice was familiar somehow, but something about it was… off. she couldn’t place it, couldn’t match it to a face or name.

“none of that was my fault! i waited, just like ye told me. difference does it make? we’re all back here in one piece…”

she jumped when a harsh thud sounded to her left, something like hinges rattling following it. “we nearly lost banner, you punk! and for what? you to prove somethin’ to that bastard you call a father?! we follow the _captain’s_ orders only.”

it was quiet for a moment before some shuffling came from their direction, then a whine. “how’s it fair that ye get her all to yerself? those ‘captain’s orders,’ too?”

“they’re _my_ orders,” the familiar voice came again, much harsher. “and i promise you, peter, you disobey me again… a clap to your ear from stark is to be the least of your problems.”

“‘is to be the least of yer problems…’ hear yerself? ye sound just like ‘em, bucky… sorry, meant to say _sir james_.”

“stay your scrawny ass up on deck!”

the receding laughter had her thinking they’d both left, and she took the silence to gather herself. _sir james_. he was here, wherever she was, he was with her. relief spread throughout her body, allowing it to relax into the stiff mattress under her. and briefly, she felt as if she could fall back asleep. there was a soothing rock to the world around her, lulling her further, until the sound of a door opening had her shooting back up in fear. heavy footfalls drew nearer, her heart slamming against her ribcage. when warm fingers brushed along her cheeks, she couldn’t hold back the yelp that crawled up her throat.

eyes squinting to adjust to the world around her, she focused in on the figure before her. hands still at the sides of her face, sir james knelt just inches from her, a solemn yet soft look on his face. it reminded her so much of that first night where he shyly offered her an explanation for his delayed arrival. a flood of memories hit her. mornings of quiet chatter over sweet bread, afternoons in the garden amongst the few sprouting plants, nights filled with giggles over the handsome knight. dear god, the princess…

“s-sir james, thank heavens you’re here, you have to-”

“your highness, i…” his eyes fluttered, hands falling from her face to bury his own within them. from their closeness, his forehead rested atop her knee, heat seeping through her nightgown. her nightgown… gasping, she pulled back as much as she could muster, suddenly recalling how she got here.

‘ _you must forgive me, princess._ ’

“y-you…” a sob cut her own voice off, hands pulling at their bindings to try and soothe herself. _he’d_ _taken her_. finally, the threat of allowing outsiders into the castle had made itself known. the thoughts running through her mind were nearly crippling, she couldn’t focus on any one in particular, and instead found herself weeping harder.

“please, don’t cry, princess, _please_ ,” he fretted, reaching out to wipe her tears. as she turned her head away, she squeezed her eyes shut at another brutal realization. he was continuing to address her as though she were truly a royal. which meant whoever had taken her, whoever this _captain_ was, still thought she was such. this… _group,_ as she was beginning to put together, thinks that they have successfully captured the heir to the throne. if this is true… maybe…

“m-my maid… where…”

“she is safe,” he assured her, his hands returning to his side as he stood. the sheer size of him was suffocating within the small space she was being kept in. “your people are safe. they fought valiantly for you…”

closing her eyes once more, she allowed everything to settle in. _the princess is safe._ there was no way to know how long she’d been away from the castle, but surely by now her highness would have made her true identity known, and the king would be informed. order would be restored, and her friend would come for her. but if these people were to find out she was a fraud before her kingdom could reason with them… would they harm her? would they go back for the real princess? the thought of her highness in danger made the maid feel sick.

“what… what do you want? where am i?” she tried to keep her voice even, keep her secret hidden.

“you’re on a ship a fair distance off the coast of your kingdom.”

shaking her head, she looked up into the blue eyes that once made her heart soar. “what do you want?” she repeated.

james was the first to divert his gaze, staring off into the wooden panels of the walls. letting out a shaky breath, he ran a hand through his hair, and leaned back against the door. “same as always. you’ll be held for ransom, given back when your father provides our captain with whatever amount he sees fit. you’re to be kept down here until your release.” the younger didn’t know whether to be relieved or petrified of the thought. she’d much rather be alone than in some common area with other prisoners if there were any, but the possibility of being left unguarded, defenseless… she didn’t know these people, these _men_ by the sound of it. as if he could read it on her face, he spoke again, “if it’s any consolation, i’ve requested i be the only one to visit you. i’ll bring your meals, and take care of…” his eyes flickered over to the corner of the room.

she followed the movement, mouth falling open at the sight of a small, tin bucket. unable to stop it, another sob contorted her face, ripping up her throat around a broken cry that she couldn’t even make out herself. they continued, shaking her body violently, head dropping down so her chin rested atop her chest. her shoulders were growing stiff from the restrains, but the pain was nothing compared to the blistering pinches to her heart. she had to do this. she had to be strong, to protect her princess, the kingdom.

the gentle call of her name had her choking around a particularly painful sob, but she kept her head down. “please,” he sighed, advancing toward her again. with one hand, he lifted her chin up, using the other to wipe at the mess of tears and snot across her face with a damp rag. against her will, the action calmed her enough to settle the wails into jerky hiccups. something about the warmth of his palm on her jaw, and the cool cotton of the rag. james clutched the soiled fabric in his fist and used his thumb to wipe away the few stray tears collecting in the corners of her lashes. “i promise, princess, you are safe with me. i know you’re scared, but i will protect you. i…” his knuckles trailed across her cheek before he pulled away with a sigh. “i’ll bring your meal shortly.”

and then he was gone, leaving nothing behind but the sound of a lock clicking into place, and the phantom touch of his fingers on her skin. with no other choice, she fell back onto the mattress, and curled into the scratchy sheets.

~

it had been days with no sign of rescue. each meal james brought signaled time passing. he ate with her, offering apologies for the lack of sweet bread every time. long defeated, she allowed herself to smile at his words. a small part of her had even begun to dread his departure after they’d finished eating. at least when he was around there was an option for human contact. without him, there was nothing to do but stare ahead at the grimy walls on every side. she couldn’t hate him. could never bring herself to. not with everything they’d shared, those fleeting moments of something more than a professional relationship lingering in the back of her mind. if the circumstances were different, perhaps if he could have overlooked her deception after she resumed her role of head maid… there was no use dwelling on the past.

a few times, on his way down to her, she heard different voices calling him ‘bucky’ or ‘buck’ in jovial tones, laughter shared between him and his friends. it wasn’t until they had finished what she assumed was their dinner that she decided to speak up. “why do your friends call you that?” her voice sounded so foreign now after days without use.

setting their dishes to the side, he gave her a questioning look. “what? ‘bucky’?” she nodded, offering out her hands to be retied as was their routine after each meal. when he didn’t immediately begin wrapping the ropes around her wrists, she looked up to see him seemingly deep in thought. “just a childhood nickname.” the older continued to do nothing but stare at her outstretched hands. it felt like forever had gone by before he reached forward, gingerly wrapping his forefinger around one of hers. when she didn’t pull away, he slid his palm up under hers, letting them just rest upon each other for a beat.

“james…” the gentleness in her tone made him hesitate, but eventually he released her.

“my apologies, your highness.” in a blur, he stood, making to collect their empty plates, but getting stopped by a feather-light hold on his left hand. he looked down at their clasped fists, following her arm up to see her staring at him in a silent plea. “princess, what i have done is unforgivable. however,” he started, clearing his throat as he turned to fully face her, “i find myself… drawn to you. i think about you every moment we are apart. _worry_ for you every hour of the day.” the furrow to his brows deepened, his gaze falling to the space between them. her hold on him tightened. “and… as each day passes, and your freedom approaches… i’ve selfishly begun to dread my time here without you.”

“james, we- i…”

“i know,” he breathed defeatedly. “i don’t deserve you. who i am… what i’ve done…” just the sight of her once pristine shift covered in dirt, torn at the hem, was enough to have him shaking his head at his next words. “despite all this, i’ve… princess, i must confess to you the gravity of my feelings.” her name fell from his lips so quietly, she wouldn’t have known it had if not for the way she kept her eyes focused on them so intently. “i love you.”

he expected a slap to the face, a harsh shove to his chest. venomous words and a cold stare. what he got instead was the softest look he’d seen on anyone since his mother was alive. when she began lifting his hand in her hold, he unknowingly held his breath. time stood still around them as her lips pressed to his knuckles. one by one until a final, drawn-out kiss fell upon the back of his hand. “stay,” she purred.

“no, we… i won’t…”

“just… hold me.”

the pull was steady and strong, keeping him in his spot, nudging him further into her space. it couldn’t overpower that glimmer in her eyes. the pain, the fear, the desperation. he couldn’t betray her trust this way. “i can’t,” he whispered sternly, releasing her hand. “you’d regret it come morning.”

with a dry laugh, she plopped herself back onto the mattress. “i’ve not the slightest idea when morning even is.” it was quiet and grumbled, but he heard it. another thing to add to his guilt. “bind my hands and be on your way, then. whatever it is you’re feeling… this isn’t love that consumes you, it’s remorse.”

shoving a boot between her bare feet, he forced her gaze upon him again. “don’t assume to know what it is or is not that i feel. were you so blind to my affections before?”

“‘ _before_ ’?” she shrieked, standing once more so their chests nearly touched. “when you slithered your way into the kingdom, the castle? spied on its inhabitants? reported back to whatever authority commands you?” she could see the way his neck began to flush with anger, his jaw setting harshly, but it didn’t stop her. everything had built up and curdled within her, finally spewing over at his confession. “or perhaps i should have taken notice of your alleged affections as you tore me from my home in the middle of the night, and threw me into this prison. would that have been the time to see them?!”

“keep your voice down,” he grated, closing what little distance was left between them so he could feel the softness of her body pressing against him. the roll of her eyes made a heat flood through him like no other, lighting fire to each nerve ending.

“who will hear me, _bucky_? your precious captain?” his silence began to turn her blood cold the longer they stood in it. only a few seconds felt like all her days in captivity and then some.

“say it again.”

the younger cocked her head, gaze softening before she could force it not to. “i beg your pardon?” she watched as the flush blossomed up from his neck into his cheeks, and his throat constricted around a heavy swallow. “say _what_ again?” as if something snapped together for her, his request became painfully apparent. slightly stunned, her lips parted, causing the older to shift from one foot to the other awkwardly. “‘bucky’?” she tried, earning confirmation from the way his eyes shut briefly. the air in the room suddenly felt thick and heated, and the lack of space between them was more evident than before.

“even with such malice, i adore the way it sounds coming from your lips.”

her eyes blew wide before she diverted them from the fire within his own. “i’ve said your name countless times, why only now would you… dear god, is james not even your name?”

“it _is_ ,” he confirmed quickly, reaching out his left hand again, thankful when she didn’t retreat. “only my father ever used it, and scarcely. those closest to me have always called me bucky.” her breath hitched as he trailed his hand up from hers, fingertips pulling goosebumps to the surface of her arm until it settled against her cheek. with little effort, he turned her face back to his.

“a-and… am i close to you, then?”

“not nearly enough.” he dipped in quickly at first, slowing himself once there was practically nothing between them but their ragged breaths. she tensed against him, but didn’t pull away, silently allowing him to close the distance. the maid stared before her at the blurry sight of his gently shut eyes, beautifully thick lashes casting shadows over his cheeks. his lips were warm and unexpectedly soft against hers, naturally causing her own eyes to flutter closed. that cautious hand on her cheek quickly found a home at the nape of her neck, pulling her into him impossibly so. when his right arm curled around her back, a shiver ran from the tips of her toes up her spine and into her chest. giving herself over completely, she clung to his shoulders, gripping the rough fabric of his shirt tightly enough to feel his muscles shift beneath.

a gasp slipped from her mouth into his in response to the throaty growl that rumbled within his chest. she could feel it deep in her bones, rattling them around like loose coins. this was never how she imagined her first kiss. not in some dingy cell aboard a ship with a gruff man whose hold was so strong, so comforting and warm, it knocked the air from her lungs and left every inch of her skin humming.

the moment his tongue poked against the seam of her lips, a harsh rap came at the door. the pair jumped apart so quickly, she fell flat onto the mattress, breathless and staring up at him with shiny lips and even shinier eyes. “buck?” a lively voice came from the other side of the wooden barrier. “captain’s lookin’ for ye.”

“just a moment.” their eyes remained locked the entire time, neither moving until they heard heavy footsteps growing quieter. “hands,” he rasped, kneeling when she sat up and shakily offered her wrists. the ropes slid across her skin as softly as always, but for whatever reason, they burned like brands. she hissed when he pulled on them, bringing her to his lips once more. this one caused his beard to scratch against her chin as he devoured her, sighing contentedly.

“bucky,” she breathed, earning a groan from the man.

“i will see you in the morning.” before her eyes could open, he was up on his feet and unlocking the door. “i love you.”

~

it was most definitely not morning when the door swinging open forced the maid out of her slumber. usually she was already awake when james brought down their breakfast, and he always gave a gentle knock as warning before entering. this was nothing of the sort, and the shadow before her stinging eyes was _not_ james. a yelp sounded from her throat as she was yanked off the mattress and brought to her feet. the haze of sleep dissipated in the blink of an eye.

“cap’n wants to see ye,” the gruff man sneered, pulling her out of the room and toward a set of rickety stairs.

“w-what? you’re- no… no! where is ja- bucky? only bucky h-has permission to escort me!” her cries earned her a rough tug to her arm, nearly pulling it from its socket.

“quiet yerself, _your highness_.” his tone as he spat the title had her stomach tumbling over itself. it wasn’t just mocking, it was… surely he couldn’t know… the princess would never have put her in such danger… “yer knight in shining armor’s waitin’ for ye.”

that had her breathing coming even quicker. why hadn’t he come to get her? if there was news, if she was being released, he would have been the one to bring her up onto the deck she was currently being dragged across. the sky showed that it was, in fact, morning, just a very young one. the moon was still visible above them, but quickly being overcome by the little bit of light that was breaking through the enormous, dark, daunting clouds above. if ever there were a time to believe in omens, this was it. with thunder clapping in the distance, and sinister chuckling coming from all around her. as if everyone on board the ship was in on some depraved joke.

they came to an abrupt stop outside a carved door upon the platform below the wheel. a small crowd had formed behind them, following up until they climbed the few stairs they were atop now. “cap’n?” the man gripping her called, gut-twisting grin on his lips as he stared at her.

from behind the door, a deep, eerily calm voice called out, “bring her in.”


	4. a punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> captain rogers meets his captive

the door swung open, revealing a surprisingly large room, walls lined with the same wood as her cell. unlike her cell, however, it was furnished. _beautifully_. elegant and plush chairs and tables, an equally inviting bed with posters to match the one back in the princess’ chambers in the castle. she could only take in so many of the trinkets all around before her gaze fell upon the desk directly in front of her. a man with slick, dirty blond hair and a thick beard sat lazily in the chair behind the dark wood piece. he looked her over with no expression, fiddling with the chalice in his hand. a subtle movement to her left caught her eye, and she had to fight to hold back her wail at the sight of james.

he was favoring the left side of his face, trying desperately to hide the swell of his eye from her, but she could see it shining against the candlelight. it was all too familiar, but not at all the same. two similarly built men stood on either side of him, holding his arms in place. against her will, a stuttered whimper left her lips.

“over here,” the blond barked, pointing to the space on the other side of his desk. the man guiding her pushed her along until she was close enough to smell the leather of his seat, the tang of his wine. a snap jerked her wrists, rope falling limply at her feet. “guess why i brought ye up here?”

unable to decipher if it was a question or a command, she waited for a moment until he arched an eyebrow at her. “i-i… my kingdom… you’ve… i’m being returned?” a roar of laughter erupted throughout the room, everyone but herself and james joining in the fun. the captain stood, placing his cup down on the desk between them.

“do ye take me for a fool?” his blue eyes bore into her with a coldness she’d never seen in anyone else’s. there was nothing behind them, nothing to give away where he was heading. why james was here with a black eye, restrained like a criminal. “i finally got word back from _yer kingdom_. longest it’s ever taken a king to get his precious princess back.”

god, _he knew_. how could mary-jane betray her this way? how could she allow the king to out her like this? leave her stranded on a ship with thieves, kidnappers… god knows what else? was she truly that upset with her maid for joining in her prank? that damn, stupid, useless prank…

“strange. right, boys?” the men all called out in a choir of agreement, low chuckles following after. “unless… i’m not lookin’ at any princess.”

she began to shake, swallowing the knot in her throat painfully. warily, she chanced a look to james, trying to figure out if he knew already. the look on his face said not. his good eye was round beneath his eyebrows knitted in confusion, gaze hopping from her to his captain.

“i-i…” defeatedly, she sighed, looking to her bare feet. “it’s true. i-i’m not the princess.” exaggerated gasps filled the room, and she could see the captain wave his hand from the corner of her eye. shuffling let her know james had been brought over, his boots coming into her line of sight just as a sharp, metallic ringing sounded before them. when she looked up, the blond had his sword drawn, pointing it a hair away from james’ throat. without thinking, she pulled against the hold on her. it was pointless.

“now tell me, rat, how ye managed to bring me a worthless handmaid! i should finish ye right here, feed ye to the sharks circlin’ below deck!” the point of the blade made contact with the brunet’s skin, and she cried out, pulling the captain’s attention to her.

“it’s not his fault! he had no way of knowing! please! it was just… it was but a _joke_. between myself and her highness.” with a quirk to his lips, the captain reeled his sword in slightly, and faced her completely. one of his brows twitched in a motion as if to say, ‘ _go on._ ’ steadying her breathing, she glanced at james to make sure he was unharmed. “w-we switched places for fun. only the cook knew. james had no way of knowing i was a false royal.”

he seemed to consider this for a moment, scratching a few fingers through his beard. she hadn’t realized she’d begun to cry until she tasted the salt of her tears on her lips. every muscle in her body froze as he rounded the desk and pulled her from the other man’s hold. “so it’s _yer_ doing, then?” desperately, she sucked in a breath when the cold metal of his blade pressed against her neck, the captain’s chest scorching against her back. with ease, he held both of her hands in his free one. a pained grunt brought her attention to james as he struggled in the arms of the two men.

“let her go!” he roared, lunging forward only to be yanked back forcefully.

“look at the two of ye,” the captain cooed, pressing his cheek to her temple in mock comfort. “got a couple of lovebirds, is that what this is?” a pitiful sob escaped her, sharp blade digging into her neck until she felt the trickle of blood running down to her chest.

“p-please, please don’t k-kill me! please, i’ll- don’t hurt us, _please_ …”

his breath was hot against the side of her face as he hummed, chest vibrating behind her. “and waste a warm body?” he purred. she was forced to witness the snarl on james’ lips as he watched the captain’s hand drop down to her chest, still clutching the handle of the sword. she was frozen, unable to even fix her gaze elsewhere. the man’s palm was hot, even through the fabric of her shift, and she felt herself come to a peak beneath his touch. something warm and wet splattered onto her collar, and she had no way of knowing if it was more blood, or another tear.

“steve,” james started, trying once more to break free.

“what’s the problem, _james_? i’d love to see what’s got ye so smitten.” all it took was a second, one intake of breath, and she found herself pinned to the desk, staring down the stem of his forgotten chalice. faintly, she could hear james howling in protest, struggling and fighting with every ounce of strength he had left. it was all garbled, all her focus on the captain’s hands as he switched his hold on her to the other hand, sword now slicing into the skin of her wrist. his empty one clawed at her nightgown, hastily pulling her hem up until it rested around her waist. her face burned at the silence that fell over the room. “princess too good for undergarments, eh?”

the truth was they’d become too soiled after the first few days of her being on the ship, and she’d had james discard of them, wrapped in a torn off piece of the lone sheet she was provided. “please,” she sniffled, not even sure anyone could hear her, the sound didn’t reach her own ears.

“go on,” steve bit, running his hand up over the swell of her hips. “get him ready. this won’t take long.” james’ frantic and pained screams added to her terror as the three nameless men forced him out of the room. they were alone now. her right cheek pressed against the cold, worn varnish of his desk, his hand scorching across her skin. everywhere. he was everywhere, all over her. “oh, come now, maid,” he soothed, causing her to realize she’d begun to sob again. the shrieks were deafening, uncontrollable.

“pl-please, please, please, don’t do this… i’ve… god, _please_.”

“enough!” he snapped, sealing the command with a slap to her bottom that had her jolting forward with such force to scrape the desk across the floor. her flesh burned where he’d made contact, stinging worse than when she’d encountered a bee in the gardens as a child. “now, i don’t wanna cut up this pretty skin, so i’m gonna put away the sword. keep still, and shut yer mouth.” she felt him hesitate for a moment before he did as he said, sharp blade disappearing from her skin.

“captain,” she attempted, voice the smallest she’d ever heard. “please…”

it was a mistake, she found, pulling a deep groan from the man behind her. then he went silent, the only sign of his presence his bruising hold on her. before she could form another plea, rough fingers shoved themselves between her thighs. a shiver rocked her body, forcing out a gasp to his delight. “who’s all this for, hm? little james?” there wasn’t the slightest notion in her mind what he was rambling about, her only thoughts focused on the shocks of… _something_ shooting throughout her bones. his fingers kept on swirling around a part of her that had her toes curling, legs shaking from more than just fear now. “we’ll have some real fun later. can’t be late for the show.”

some rustling sounded, one hand of his gone from her body. she was no fool, she knew what was to come, and that she only had a few breaths left to prepare herself. all those teasing discussions between her and the princess played in her mind, seeming so long ago. her highness had always seemed so fond of her nights with various men around the castle, boasting about the pleasure and burning bliss. this wasn’t like any of those nights, though, was it?

the few times she thought about finally being intimate, she was with someone she loved, someone who loved her. they’d be married, celebrating their union in the comfort of their bed, in their house just beyond the castle grounds. as she squeezed her eyes shut, flashes of crystalline blue eyes burst across her vision. she’d thought about james filling that role. considered how tender he might be. and after last night, that kiss… there was no use. this man was not james, he was not tender. all hope for some kind of fairytale was lost.

clenching her fists tighter, she braced when she felt him press against her. “relax yerself,” he bit, pushing between her folds, prodding right at her rim. “i’m goin’ in either way. how much it hurts is up to ye.” just as he promised, he thrusted forward sharply, reaching her barrier with a drawn-out moan. the burn was already enough to knock the wind out of her, but the shooting pain that rippled out under her skin when he broke past it had her seeing stars. it sat at the back of her throat thickly, blocking any noise from escaping. she tried to wiggle, only fueling the agony between her legs. “buck has always known how to pick ‘em,” he marveled, rocking out of her in one, swift motion. there was only a split second of relief before he speared himself inside her again.

her mind lost itself, numbing in hopes of soothing what her body was going through. she could feel her tears beneath her face, puddling on the desk, and easing the drag of her skin across it. the room was filled with a gut wrenching symphony of her small whimpers, his animalistic grunts, the collision of their hips, and a sick squelching that she was mortified to find was coming from where they were joined. as her nails dug deeper into her palms, she felt the pain within her dwindle, twisting into some kind of pressure that began building behind her navel.

it pulled at her nerves, thrumming underneath her skin in time with his thrusts. against her will, she heard a gasp leave her lips, another tremor quaking her body. “there she is,” he purred. the snaps of his hips grew quicker, shaking the items atop his desk. “ _fuck_ … squeezin’ me real nice now…” it made her eyes sting with tears of shame to realize it was true. she could feel the way she fluttered between her legs.

her eyes shot open at the sound of metal clanging before her. the remnants of his wine flooding the wood under her face, seeping past her lips. with each harsh pant of her breath, it spluttered out, leaving little droplets of red on various surfaces. the hand that was previously digging into her hip found new purchase against the side of her head. he pushed down, dragging her face through the sticky alcohol with the most sinister laugh she’d ever heard.

“what a mess you’ve made, princess.” his taunting words were the least of her worries as taking in air became a fight with all her airways blocked by wine. despite all this, she could still feel that disgustingly addictive thrumming in her muscles. with each prod of his length within her, a new burst of pleasure rippled out behind her navel. it was growing nearly unbearable now, her core spasming uncontrollably, pulling deep groans and curses from the man behind her. finally, relief came as he released his hold on her head and dug his fingers back into her hip. she could breathe once more, taking in as many lungfuls as she could between the cries and bitten moans that poured from her lips. it was little comfort, the captain’s thrusts now off-beat and erratic, hands yanking her back against him painfully.

a deafening bellow sounded behind her, causing her to flinch in fear. warmth spewed within her, dribbling down her thighs the more steve continued to drag in and out of her. and then, suddenly, it was over. he stayed still for only a moment before ripping himself from her walls, earning a shout of pain that he only laughed at. when his hands left her, she began to slump, collapsing on the floor heavily.

“don’t get too comfortable down there,” he snapped, fixing himself back into his trousers. wine dripped down her neck, her eyes glazed over and zeroed in on no point in particular. what short rest she had left, she took advantage of; catching her breath and trying to will her mind off of the aching between her legs. as if he could sense her limbs relaxing, he hauled her up and into his side. horrified, she watched him lean in, his tongue swiping from her jaw to her temple. hot air puffed from his nose across her face in a sick hum of satisfaction. “show time.”

they followed the few steps back onto the main deck of the ship, sea of people parting around them. the storm clouds above had finally broken, washing the mix of alcohol, spit, and tears from her cheeks. her head hung down, eyes lazily watching her soiled gown drag over the splintering wood below. when they came to an abrupt stop, he grabbed her chin forcefully, jerking it up. the sight before her sprung forward tears she thought she could no longer shed.

“n-no,” she tried, voice drowned out by the violent winds around them and murmurs of anticipation from the ship’s occupants. james was bound at the ankles, belt in his mouth. another wrapped snugly around the joint of his upper arm, the limb hung over the side of the ship. their eyes met briefly before his fell down over her body.

even as death loomed overhead, all james could find himself caring about was the sight of her. gown soaked in rain, stained a rancid mix of maroon and deep crimson around her collar. where it was clinging to her legs, another trail of red that had his heart nearly stopping in his chest. no fight left in him, body bruised and frail, restrained like an animal, he could only offer a look of sympathy in her direction.

“see, maid,” the captain began at her side, speaking loud enough for the entire audience to hear. “yer little game with the _real_ princess has cost me me right hand. it’s only fair that now he should lose his _left_.”

“no!” she screamed, voice so rough and garbled, she couldn’t even recognize it. her legs were still weak, but she’d be damned if she didn’t try. “no, no, _stop_ …” she thrashed in steve’s hold, managing to free one arm and land a blow to his nose.

silence fell over the entire ship, everyone’s eyes on the way the rain carried the small trickle of blood down into his beard. with a grin, he licked his lips and captured her wrists once more. “do it!” he barked. more roars erupted around them, his thick fingers digging into her cheeks so painfully, she was sure he would snap her jaw clean off. “now watch, whore.”

a man approached james, drawing his sword without hesitation, without any sign of guilt. if anything, he looked _pleased_. happy to serve the captain, and carry out his orders. like a nightmare, she couldn’t control herself. her eyes stayed fixed on the scene before her as the blade was raised high into the air, winking at her with what small light filtered through the storm. in the final moments, she looked back to james, his own gaze already on her. silently, he pleaded for her to close her eyes, look away, _anything_. as the metal came down, she finally regained autonomy, doing just as he wished.

there was a sickening slicing sound, james’ muffled wails silencing the splash below. the last thing she remembered was falling limp in the captain’s arms, his chest rumbling with another order she couldn’t make out.

and then it was black.


	5. a plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> with a little help, a plan is put in motion

it could have been years since that stormy morning for all she knew. where before there were consistent meals and full nights of rest, now there was no structure. meals became scraps of bread and whatever vegetables steve didn’t care for, a glass of water each morning and night when he remembered. bound wrists turned to an ankle shackled to his bed post, allowing just enough movement for her to relieve herself in the dingy pail he had servants carry out each night. only once he was back in the room. it didn’t matter that she had to sit with the stench all day.

sleep came sparsely, mainly in the hours of the day he was on deck. even when it did, it was only a few moments at a time. every rock of the boat, every creak of a floorboard, shout of a crew member, _anything_ … it all woke her. it all had her blood running cold, fear of that great, wooden door swinging open shooting up her spine.

there were days he didn’t leave his quarters, simply sat at his desk, occasionally calling in different men. not a care that she lie exposed atop his bed, only awarded sheets at night. after she’d let him have his way with her. some nights several times. _everywhere_. a constant musk lurked in the back of her throat, no amount of water washing away the taste of him, of his seed. her thighs sometimes became stuck together with all that he spilled in her, on her. when she made the mistake of asking for a cloth to clean herself up, he forced her legs open painfully, gritting out that she should simply keep her legs spread to avoid such a problem.

she’d suffer the slight discomfort of prying her limbs apart if it meant going against his orders.

the humiliation was the worst. worse than having his men ogle her as they stood listening to his commands, than his hands on her, _in her_ … worse than everything he did was the little notepad that stayed in his pocket at all times. after each debased encounter, he’d pluck it from his forgotten clothes, and begin forcing her body into different poses. with a twisted grin on his lips, steve sat in his desk chair and scribbled a pencil across the pages of that small book. like a child, he’d then present the drawing to her with glee, never relenting until she’d praised his work with a forced smile.

they made her sick, those intricate sketches of her body; spread out and swollen, covered in his bodily fluids.

what ate away at her more than the hunger, the sleep deprivation, the sinful acts, all of it, was the thought of james. the mystery that surrounded his fate. her heart so desperately wanted him to have survived. but if he had, what were they doing to him? a few times, some of the men that came in and out of the captain’s room slipped up and mentioned ‘ _the other one_.’ it had hope foolishly blooming in her chest each time. for all she knew, they simply had another prisoner somewhere aboard the ship.

guilt rotted her from the inside more than any starvation could. if she’d never agreed to that prank. if she’d revealed the truth to james. _if, if, if_ … none of it mattered now. her decisions had brought her here, brought her suffering, brought _james_ suffering. no amount of days spent consuming lavish food in expensive clothing was worth any of this.

~

it was morning, she assumed from the stirring that sounded behind her on the bed. always a gruff inhale followed by the shuffling of sheets. something was off today, though. it was at this point that he would reach for her, pulling on her hip until her back met the mattress. his touch didn’t come. she wanted to feel relief, but it only made her body go more rigid.

“wake up,” he grumbled, bed bouncing as he stood. not wanting to provoke him, she turned over to prove her consciousness. his bare form moved about the room, ripping clothes out of the different trunks around the space. “we won’t be having any fun tonight. i know you’re disappointed, but i’ll have me hands full.”

what could this mean? he wouldn’t be returning to his quarters tonight? did that mean he would be off of the ship? for how long? her mind began to run so wild, she didn’t see him moving toward her, only a pair of brown trousers on his body. “w-why?” she shrieked when his hand dug between her thighs, fingers already slipping into her channel with little resistance. it was still slick from the night before.

“mm, don’t worry that pretty little head of yers…” his eyes were locked on where his digits disappeared into her, a childlike wonder glistening in them. when a shiver shook through her, clenching her around him, he moaned. “ _fuck_ , i wish i could bring ye with me. i’d have ye keep me warm while i did me business.”

she breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled away, returning to his laid out clothes. “wh-what will… i do for food?” truthfully, she was a little worried about his absence. she hadn’t felt well recently, expelling the contents of her stomach after most of her short naps. at least if he were here at the end of the day, he could observe any signs of trouble. not that she knew he’d even care. perhaps he would just leave her to wilt now that she’d served her purpose.

“ye can make it one night, don’t be dramatic.”

so it was just for the night, then? he’d return come morning? why wasn’t this break from him awarding her a sense of safety?

rolling his eyes at the look on her face, he sheathed his sword and made to collect a few items from his desk. “i’ll have a few biscuits brought up. does that suit yer highness’ fancy?” he mocked, turning back to her with that cursed thick, black book in his hand. he waved it with a wink before slipping it into its usual pocket. if she went off of the pencil’s placement in the pages, she’d been here too many nights to count. sparing her one final longing glance, he was out the door.

almost as if on cue, her stomach twisted, giving her just enough time to lean over the bed. she heaved into the bucket on the floor, not much coming up but a few globs of bile. a groan ripped up her throat as she stayed slumped over, clutching the sheets with all the strength she had left.

the sheets… at least he’d forgotten to take away the sheets. it brought her a small ounce of comfort, something to burrow into once the nausea subsided. the fabric was soft between her fingers, tips rubbing along absentmindedly. this truly felt like the end. the more she thought about it, the more she accepted it. there was an end in sight, even if it was grim. if she had any luck left in her at all, she’d slip away before he returned. allow her one final night of peace, and then she’ll leave.

~

the next time she awoke, it was to the door creaking open slowly. panic surged within her veins, but she couldn’t find the strength to do anything but stare as a cloaked figure stepped into the room. another followed behind the first, carrying a covered silver platter. she recognized him vaguely as one of the men that frequently joined the captain to discuss different affairs. it was when the first intruder turned to face her, hood falling off his head, that she felt the air leave her lungs.

“j-james…” she whispered, partly from her lethargy, partly because she felt if she spoke too loud the world would crumble beneath her. those blue eyes met hers as he advanced toward the bed, rounding to her side. he hesitated for a moment, seeking out permission with a hand hovering between them.

shakily, her own reached forth, slipping into his rough one for only a second before he sat himself beside her. sighing happily, he pulled until she lifted from the bed and fell against his chest. “my love,” he breathed, lips pecking at her temple. she couldn’t speak. sobs bubbled up her throat, getting muffled against the thick fabric of the cloak he was wrapped in. everything around them seemed to fade away. her grip on the sheets covering her body slipped away for her to wrap both arms around his shoulders. that’s when she felt it…

“james…”

“i thought we agreed you’d call me bucky.” his smile was there, but a sadness lingered at the corners. “don’t worry for me, please.” he looked over her, sweet face strikingly gaunter than when they’d last seen each other. the skin around her eyes was sunken and thin, too. her name fell softly from his lips as he continued down to her exposed arms. deep bruises bloomed all over, disappearing under the sheet that he skipped over to the lower half of her leg that rested atop it. more discolored flesh, and a swollen ankle where her bindings had cut into her.

her hand pressed to the side of his face, pulling his gaze from her injuries. bucky leaned forward, lips seeking her out before she pulled back alarmingly fast. “don’t… he’s… he has… been…” she couldn’t bring herself to say it, but he seemed to understand. jaw clenching, eyebrows cinching in anger, he snorted like a bull. “i’m s-sorry…”

her soft apology eased the tension from his features. “no, my dear.” reaching up to cup her cheek, he tried again. “i don’t give a damn. i’d like to kiss the woman i love.”

any touch was hard for her, and it frustrated her that even his soft hold made her cringe. they stayed frozen like that for far too long, she knew, but bucky remained patient. her touch fell from his face to what was left of his shoulder, older tensing beneath her fingers. “show me.” he shook his head, but before he could voice his protest, she continued, “you’ve seen what he’s done to me.” the rest needn’t be spoken aloud, it was written across her face. right now she felt vulnerable, raw… she needed to know she wasn’t the only one.

taking a deep breath, he pushed the cloak from his torso, leaving just a plain blouse. already, she could see how the left side hung loosely from him. her eyes pleaded where her voice couldn’t, and he offered a stiff nod. slowly, cautious of her nails that had grown out, she began to undo the small buttons. his chest glistened in the candlelight, small smattering of hair tickling between her fingers. the thin cotton bunched over her hand before falling completely from his left shoulder.

against her control, her face twisted as tears started back up, a pitiful whine leaving the back of her throat. “ja- _bucky_ ,” she sobbed, his hand circling around her neck to pull her into his chest.

“shh, dear, please don’t cry.”

how could she not? his arm was _gone_ , leaving behind mangled, red, angry flesh that looked to be carelessly stitched together. how much had he suffered since that day? who cared for him? a million thoughts rattled around her head as she continued to sniffle against him, slowly calming the longer he soothed his hand along her bare back.

“it… looks worse than it is,” he tried, causing her to look back up to him in bewilderment. yes, he had lost his arm, but he had _lived_. he’d been treated, been allowed to return to the crew, been _fed_ … his suffering had been short-lived compared to hers. “maybe i’m not as quick with my words as i once was…” they shared a small laugh, her gaze falling back to the scarring. he followed it, observing her hand reaching to make light contact with his skin. she let out one final sigh of defeat, eyes closing, touch falling away.

“kiss me,” she whispered.

bucky’s chest grew tight as he cupped her cheek, leaning in cautiously. he was waiting for her to flinch away, push him to the floor with what strength she had left. when nothing happened, he closed in, letting out a breath of comfort once their lips met. hers were considerably more chapped than he remembered, but just as warm. he heard a breathy whine sound from her throat, and he reluctantly pulled back.

“sorry,” she choked out, anger at herself laced into her features.

“that was perfect.” to his delight, her body softened under his touch, cheek pressing into his palm.

from the other side of the room, a quiet cough pulled them from their cocoon, starling her further into his embrace. her eyes settled on the familiar man that still stood by the door, timid smile on his lips. “sorry to ruin the moment, but this is gettin’ a little heavy…”

bucky nodded his head, motioning for the man to approach the bed. he did so, slowly, setting the silver platter in the middle of the mattress. bucky spoke her name gently as the man lifted the lid to reveal two plates piled with all kinds of food. the sight made her mouth water a little, stomach letting out a noise of anticipation. bucky chuckled sadly. “this is samuel,” he clarified, removing his hand from her back to pull the tray toward them. “he’s going to help us.”

she tried to voice her confusion, but all she found herself doing was staring down the mountain of steaming mashed potatoes before her. the two men shared a look of slight sorrow but mostly affection. neither spoke again, allowing her to begin picking at the various options presented to her. bucky joined in, and for a moment, it felt like they were back in that tiny room, sharing a meal together in silence.

she knew to pace herself, already terrified of everything rushing back up her throat. but it was… _so good_. it felt amazing to have real food back on her tongue. it was all rather plain, but she couldn’t have cared any less if she tried. and there was _water_. all the water she could drink with bucky refilling her glass each time she emptied it. from the corner of her eyes, she could see the other man, samuel, sat back on the edge of the captain’s desk, spreading out different sheets of paper.

“good?” bucky asked around a mouthful. she nodded happily, continuing to nibble on a roasted carrot. it only took a few bites of the different sides for her to feel full, but she wanted desperately to taste more. “i don’t want you to get sick, my love. don’t force it.”

again, she nodded, leaning onto his chest once more. she sat contentedly as he finished his dinner. this all had to be a dream. or perhaps she had finally slipped away after steve had left, and this was her heaven. it wasn’t exactly perfect, she thought, but it was enough to keep a dopey grin on her lips.

turning into his chest further, she spoke softly, “you won’t leave me, will you?” at her question, both men faced her. bucky placed his piece of bread back on the tray, sliding it away.

he cleared his throat, chest rumbling beneath her. “that’s why i’ve brought sam, actually.” she lifted her head to look at the man in question. he was one of the few men that wasn’t ever inappropriate when he entered steve’s room. always either keeping his eyes downcast or on his captain. and if bucky trusted him… “we’re going to get out of here. you and i. and sam is going to help us escape.”

his words had her heart speeding up in her chest, and her stomach began to lurch. “sorry,” she squeaked out only a second before emptying herself of everything she’d just consumed. bucky pulled the sheets tighter around her hunched form, rubbing soothingly at her back.

“she’s weaker than you said, sam, what happened?” he bit, sparing his friend a quick glance before focusing back on the woman in his hold.

“i haven’t been here in quite some time.” sam quickly got a rag from the corner of the room, dipping it in the pitcher of fresh water that sat on the forgotten tray of food. he offered it out to bucky who began pressing it to her forehead. “perhaps she just ate too quickly.”

she shook her head slowly, croaking out, “th-this has been happening… for a while now.” she tried to sit back up, but immediately began to retch some more.

worry flooded bucky’s face when he looked back to his friend. “what will we do? she’s in no shape to travel.”

“she’ll have to be,” sam countered. “this’ll be our only chance. he’s got no more meetings for the foreseeable future. if it’s not now…”

bucky grimaced at the implication, his friend’s eyes glancing over her warily. he knew she wouldn’t survive possibly even another week in this room. renewed determination pulsed through his veins as he helped her back to an upright position. the heaving had ceased, but she still looked weak, a thin layer of sweat above her brow. “darling, will you be all right for a short rest?”

worry flashed across her eyes, her voice hoarse as she asked, “you’re leaving me?”

“i must,” he reasoned, tracing his thumb over the back of her hand. “we have to wait until the early hours of the morning. only a few will be out on deck… our escape will be easier.” she sat silently for a moment, processing his words. _he’ll come back_. sighing with her entire chest, she nodded. “that’s my girl,” he beamed, placing a kiss to her forehead. footsteps outside the door had each of their spines going rigid until they continued past. bucky looked back to her with a sweet smile. “i’d like for you to try to eat some more, but don’t overdo it. a few bites, then rest, all right?”

“i’ll try,” she offered. _for him_ , she would try.

a final peck was placed upon her lips with the promise to return before she knew it, and then the two men were gone from the room. subconsciously, her hand began to soothe over her stomach, willing it to stop clenching long enough for her to give eating another shot. she found it came easier when she was on her side. relieved, she nibbled away at the unseasoned potatoes, taking sips of water in between. before long, her stomach was pleasantly full again, and she felt her eyelids growing heavier until sleep came once more.

~

this time when she woke, it was to a rough finger against her cheek. the world around her came into focus slowly, pulling a sigh from her lips. the dark figures before her caused her to jump for a moment until she could make them out. sam stood at the end of the bed, unfamiliar utensils in his hands. james was once again sat beside her, his hand falling away at her reaction.

“sorry,” he cooed, “how do you feel?” her bare shoulders lifted in a weak shrug, eyes still trained to the tools in sam’s hands. “well enough to get some clothes on after sam frees your leg?”

 _clothes_. her chest swelled at the thought. even if it was a raggedy old smock, she’d take it. nodding in delight, she wiggled the leg as best she could, willing sam to get on with it. he worked quietly, fixing all his attention on getting the thick metal chain off her skin as safely as possible. there were a few moments that she had to stifle a whimper when the raw skin was poked too forcefully, but she managed. it seemed that all three of them let out sighs of relief when finally the shackle was popped open, nearly falling to the floor if sam hadn’t reached for it.

“ _thank you_ ,” she cried, gazing at sam with a smile unlike any he’d ever seen before.

“don’t thank me yet,” he grinned, tucking away the instruments in his deep pockets. “all right with you if i get this covered?” he pointed to her ankle, the area slightly swollen, skin torn in a few spots. it wasn’t really up for debate, so she nodded timidly, immediately reaching for bucky once sam began wrapping gauze around her. it encompassed her entire foot up to the middle of her calf when he was finished.

“we’ll clean it once we’re settled,” bucky promised, earning a look from his friend.

“you better.” sam moved back over to the door, standing guard for the time being.

with a squeeze to her hand, bucky stood to pick up a stack of clothing that he must have placed on the bedside table while she was still asleep. her eyes drifted over to sam, bottom lip pulled between her teeth until he faced away from her. she suppressed a laugh at the way he tucked himself so tightly into the corner of the room. her gaze fell back upon the outfit bucky offered out, smile splitting her face brilliantly.

it didn’t matter that her skin was grimy and clammy from god knows how long without a bath, she eagerly snatched the blouse from the stack once bucky set it back down next to her. it was a muslin-like material, wrinkled and a little too large for her, but it was a beautiful sight. staring up at bucky with the beginnings of tears in her eyes, she let the sheet fall from her chest to slip her arms into the shirt. when she reached for the next article and found a pair of undergarments, the tears finally spilled down her cheeks.

“would you like some help, my love?”

“ _please_ ,” she choked out. with a light touch, bucky took the thin cotton from her hands, dropping to one knee as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. he took care to avoid her bandaged ankle as he slipped the openings over each foot. the fabric dragged along her skin before getting caught around her knees. “h-help me up, please.”

he stood back up, offering out his hand for her to use as leverage, an anchor, to get on her feet. it reminded him of watching the newborn lambs in the stables with his mother and sisters when he was young. legs shaking from lack of use, eyes looking to him for guidance. “you’ve got it,” he chuckled, waiting patiently for her to get her bearings. once her knees were steady, she gripped his hand tighter in her own, bending to pull the underwear the rest of the way up.

the trousers came easier, and before she knew it, she was being stuffed into a heavy, hooded cloak and thick boots. bucky planted a kiss to her nose after he pulled the hood tight around her head. she didn’t think much of the garb, just that it would be easier to go unrecognized. all that she thought about was getting off of the ship.

“we’re ready?” sam asked from the door, looking the pair over. she looked to bucky briefly before nodding along with him. “right. heads down, keep close, stay quick. no lookin’ back ‘til buck says so.”

all she could do was nod again, nerves thrumming with fear, anticipation, glee… she knew once the adrenaline wore off, she’d crash, and the full weight of the world might strike her down where she stood. but for right now, that big wooden door was opening, and she was walking through it. _with james_. _her and james were getting away_.

it was pitch black beyond the captain’s quarters, a sharp wind whipping at the sails overhead. bucky had been right, there was hardly anyone on deck, just a few men milling about here and there. she tried to keep her gaze down as sam had instructed, but found her eyes darting about to track any movements. no one paid them any mind. not even a spare glance. she couldn’t control her hand as it squeezed around bucky’s, heart soaring as he returned the gesture.

they were docked somewhere, that much was clear. a board was laid out as a walkway onto a long pier that protruded off the mainland. a thin dusting of snow crunched below her feet, and it was only then that it dawned on her how long she must have been in that room. there wasn’t a moment for sorrow, although tears threatened to sting her eyes. as soon as three pairs of boots touched the pier, she was being rushed along toward a small shed.

a loud snort sounded from the darkness before them, causing her to cling onto bucky’s side. he eased her closer, lifting their clasped hands for her to feel the cold, wet nose of a horse.

“it’s all right, dear,” bucky cooed, allowing her to stroke the animal’s snout on her own. “can you hoist yourself up?”

“i suppose i could try… it’s been some time…” she squinted in the darkness, eyes slowly adjusting until she could make out the general shape of the horse’s body. the two men kept close behind her as she grabbed hold of the reins and slipped a foot into the stirrup. it was pathetic how quickly her arms began to shake once she tried to pull herself up. “i- bucky…”

“sam will help. it’s okay.” his hand smoothed along the back of her hood before two more gently settled on her hips. her breathing picked up for a moment, fear spiking up her spine enough to bring her the slightest bit of strength. with it, and the assistance of sam, she was able to get a leg over the saddle. she could hear bucky soothing the horse while she frantically grabbed and clawed at the poor thing.

the saddle dug into the apex of her thighs uncomfortably, forcing her eyes shut and a long sigh from her nose. “thank you,” she managed, looking down at sam. he offered her a grin, beautiful gap in his teeth on full display in the scant moonlight. she looked back to bucky just as he faced his friend. they shared a bittersweet look, one she felt as if she was intruding upon. guiltily, she focused on the reins still in her grasp.

“thank you. i’m eternally indebted to you.”

sam scoffed, eyes rolling before settling back on the man before him. “just get the hell out of here already.”

from the corner of her eye, she could see the two men embrace one another; grips tight, eyes shut, murmured words spoken into each other’s shoulders…. it made her smile to herself silently.

“keep an eye on him for me,” sam directed at her while bucky slipped his foot into the stirrup, arm wrapping around her waist for leverage.

“you have my word, sam. thank you again.” warmth settled against her back, bucky’s hand coming to wrap around her own that was still clutching the leather reins. with a final look to her savior, she breathed out, “be safe.”

and then the world was a blur as they took off into the woods beyond the shed. the wind bit at her face like knives, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. the more the cold forced tears to the corners of her eyes, the further they were from that cursed ship. as light sobs began to shake her body, she felt bucky’s head press into the side of her own. it was too loud for any words to be shared between them, but she knew what he was trying to convey.

they were free.

~

their travels seemed to go on forever. that first day alone had been so endless, she thought they would carry out their lives atop the horse’s back. they stopped only to relieve themselves, bucky forcing her to eat whilst they continued. it didn’t matter, anyway, whatever food she managed to get down always came back up. the sun had risen and fallen, just about to rise again, by the time they stopped to rest for the first time. she worried for bucky. while she slept fitfully, it seemed as though he barely got a wink. despite his exhaustion, he kept them going, through snow or shine.

she had lost count of the sunrises by the time they reached the small village they stayed in for a few days. it was indescribable getting to bathe, sleep in a real bed, care for her wounded ankle. more than anything, she was overjoyed to see bucky get some much needed rest. he was so deep in it each night, she found herself placing a hand over his chest to feel it rise and fall. just to be sure. during the day, he reviewed maps sam had packed away for them, comparing them with the new one he’d picked up from the owner of the inn they stayed in.

with confidence and a glow to his skin, he started them back to their travels. their sack had been refilled with some produce and baked goods, more breads than anything due to the weather. bucky always forced her to eat despite never be able to keep much down. she complained tirelessly about it, pointing out how the portions he gave her were greater than his own. all she ever got was a stern look with something swimming in his eyes that she couldn’t place.

there was a shift between them. almost as if bucky knew something that he was refusing to share. it worried her greatly. was something not going to plan? had his review of the maps shown them off course? she was too nervous to ask him about his change in demeanor, afraid the news would be too much to take.

it was just as their food supply was about to run out that they approached another village. this one was bigger than the last, storefronts and streets bustling with life. she expected to stop again, but bucky kept on down the main road, veering off into a small gathering of houses. she looked around at the windows lit with candlesticks, children littering the yards. her heart began to flutter, hands clutching the reins so tight she was sure they’d split.

“where… is this…?” she couldn’t finish her thoughts.

bucky’s lips pressed to her cheek from behind, chest rumbling against her back as he whispered, “a little further.”

as they continued along the path, the houses grew fewer, much more space between each of them. she watched the last house they’d passed fade into the distance, looking to bucky for some answer. he only pressed his lips to her furrowed brow. when tiny white flakes began falling softly around them, she whined his name in worry.

“you’re quite impatient, dear.”

“you’ve not told me a thing about where we were going from the moment we left that ship!” she huffed, turning her head to face him again. he kept his eyes forward, cocky grin on his lips. “now it’s begun to snow, and i still haven’t the slightest idea if you’re taking me to another inn, or if… if this is… bucky…” frustrated with him, with herself, with _everything_ , it seemed, she began to cry.

the frustration turned to pure anger when she heard him laugh playfully. her eyes, still glistening with tears, set into a harsh scowl. “it _is_ ,” he beamed, nodding to draw her focus in front of them.

instantly, the tears of frustration and anger melted into that of happiness. of _relief_.

she stared ahead at the house that began to come into view. it was old and unkempt, but it was perfect. the trees around them cleared just enough to fit it and a small yard on all sides of it. a well sat off to the side in its own clearing, and as they got closer, she could make out a shed of sorts in the back. sobs shook her uncontrollably, bucky’s touch doing little to quell them. she wanted off the damned horse, wanted to feel the wood of the door beneath her fingertips.

finally, bucky pulled them to a stop just inside the clearing. he hopped down, boots crunching in the snow. “come on, then,” he beckoned, arm outstretched to her. she wiped at her face quickly before taking hold of his hand and joining him on the ground. her grasp only tightened the closer they got to the house. “now, it needs a little work…”

she felt her mouth moving, but couldn’t make out what she was saying. dropping her hand, bucky pushed open the door slowly. it creaked loudly as it swung open to reveal the interior. she looked to the man beside her in awe, wanting to enter the house, but finding herself frozen. he wrapped his arm around her waist and guided them in.

the inside wasn’t so dreary, she found. the wallpaper was torn in some spots, floor scuffed here and there. all the furniture that had been left within sat under thick cloth coverings, and upon lifting one, she found an end table with hardly any signs of age. her cheeks felt hot and cold as tears fell down them and caught the frigid air blowing in from the open door. swallowing harshly, she threw herself into bucky’s chest.

“i-i don’t understand… how did you- where…”

“shh,” he soothed, rubbing at her back slowly. “forget all that. do you like it?”

pulling back slightly, she gazed up at his hopeful expression. all the worry from their last days of travel fizzled away. she knew that crushing weight would come, suffocating her with the reality of everything, but it hadn’t yet. for however much longer, she had _this_. a roof over their heads, access to food and water whenever they should need it, a bed, a stove, _blankets_ … most important of all, she had the man in her arms.

“i love it,” she breathed contentedly.

bucky smiled at her, glancing around at their house. “it needs some care. you’ll have to help me fix a few things, adjust everything to your liking…” his mind raced, going over all that needed to be done before this was their _home_. clearing his throat, he looked back to her. bucky had to think for a moment how to voice his thoughts, how to help her see what he had seen back at that inn. he took her hand in his own, smoothing his thumb along her wrist. “but this will be home,” he started, kissing her forehead before moving her hand around to her stomach, his resting over it. “for all of us.”


End file.
